It has been 5 months since my little angel had passed away. And it is one big roller coaster ride I thought I would have never really have to endure. The first 3 months was the hardest, not knowing what to do or really how to deal with your death. Everyone tells me to attend a support group, therapist, someone who is license to deal with "people" like me. I just wish these medical personal, family and some friends would just understand that you can't not force someone to talk until they are ready to talk. Sometimes, you can just push them away further by doing so. At that time, I wasn't really wanting to talk to anyone and just wanted to be left alone. Since your death my Tunky angel, I felt that I really did not have the opportunity to cope alone for you in my way. Wish some people would understand that.
Now that I have gather myself together, thought things a little more, I felt like I have doing okay. Found out I am grieving with food and running. It is not like I could run my way back to you, though I wish I could, but it is helping me cope and grieve. Your dad and I is enjoying to the company of food right now. Food brings joy, fulfillment and relief to some extent. Now I see and understand why people bring food to grieving families. It does help some.
You are making me smile again when I think about you. I hope you know that and know that we all do love you and miss you more and more everyday!!
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