These last couple of days have been the hardest to bare. Your sisters, Jalene and Noelani acted as if you were still here. I will admit it, I was very jealous. I wish I can see and talk to you like they do. I miss so much.
I finally admitted to your father that I don't blame him for your death anymore. I am just frustrated that you aren't here to make our lives complete and interesting. Your 6 mos in heaven is fast approaching and the tears are coming more and more. You do have your good days and bad. I guess my bad days are getting to me again. Like it does every time we hit your anniversary. Sometimes, I wonder if I was ever a good enough mother to you while in my tummy, when you were born and even soon after your death. I just hope and pray you are proud of me of my good moments.
Will blog to you later or maybe tonight. I still have so much to say to you. Sometimes I wish I can start over with you.....
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