Tunky, I am sorry that you have to see your mother like this. Not living up to what a mother should be.
Today, I went to get an ultrasound done and apparently I am not/no longer pregnant. I feel like a disappointment as a mother, wife and a best friend. Your dad wants to have another one of you, yes you. He wants more boys apparently!! And I guess your neighbour up there believes we can't have anymore than what we have now. I am sad and heart broken for your father, but I kinda don't want more. Its more of a mix emotions. Sometimes when I think I want another one, I feel like I am trying to replace you. Which I am not. I just..well, I just...I don't know anymore. I am sorry if you feel like I am disappointment to you and for reasons, you know of now. I surely am a disappointment to my self. That is for sure. Love you and miss you my Tunky Monkey. And I am sorry if I disappointment you!
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